That's What People Say
3/9/20
Vorupoer/Denmark
People always say that “People hurt”, “People are bad, rude and unreliable (and more)”. But as far as I see, people saying this can do it without any hesitation when it's their turn. Is this revenge??! We will probably be all dead in 60 years and while we are getting older, from time to time we will feel like a stranger in this world because time will grab our beloved ones from us. And this feeling will give us a bitter grief. When we look from this perspective, there is no meaning to wasting life. Of course, wasting life has different meanings for each person. Then, what is my meaning? It is a big question and probably I cannot answer it properly. Anyway, I can still try... This result has been created by too many reasons coming together, no doubt about it, but I don't want to get lost in details.
When you have a partner, a wife, or a husband who loves you dearly, to cheat this person sounds terrible to me. Such destruction. To try to create valuable things between you and your partner and continue against everything has too many difficulties. I find this labour virtuous. At some point, life is so basic: everything can lose its value if you do not give it meaning. That's why there should be some special things in our lives. We should be able to feel a devotion to it. This feeling doesn't always have to be in a romantic form, of course. We can find this meaning in art, in being parents (maybe for our pets) or in a purpose. Getting back to the subject, I think cheating is a kind of ruining something sacred, wasting your labor sacrificed for that relationship.
Well.. what about addiction?!.. I am so sensitive to this topic because I've seen enough people to realise what the results of this situation are. As a psychologist and also based on my interest in psychoanalysis, I deeply believe that it has a strong relationship with a feeling for something lost. Like a feeling of void inside. Addicts just try to compensate this feeling of emptiness in their own way, but it is such a hopeless fight! At this point, I want to mention Siddhartha, from Hermann Hesse. While I was reading this book, I saw this part which impressed me: “The drinker does indeed find escape, he does indeed find a short respite and rest, but he returns from the illusion and finds everything as it was before. He has not grown wiser, he has not gained knowledge, he has not climbed any higher”. Related to this topic, I strongly recommend you a children's book (also for adults) from Anna Llenas: The Void/Boşluk (in Turkish) and a related song from John Prine.
The other thing is people saying they are so sad in their lives, do not do anything to change it. That can sometimes be their work, sometimes their country, marriage, or anything... To be honest, I criticise this attitude. Life has never been easy for me, I've always had to cope with difficulties -in many ways- and I am still doing this. This is because, if I want to change my life, if I have dreams which I want to achieve and don't want to give them up, then “I” myself have to try to carry my life into the direction I want. Of course, there are too many sorts of borders in our lives -pls be sure, I do know- we can still try to create a chance to change it, as much as possible, or you just build a prison in your mind and your life turns into a prison in time. Do not do this. Life is not such a thing to waste, life is precious and everybody deserves a good life. In one of my poems I had written this, ''Çın/ Çın/ Çın!/ Uykularınızdan uyanın.'' eng. Tinkle/ Tinkle/ Tinkle!/ Wake up from your sleep. Perfect time to add this sentence here, it is Hof Bauern Hof's motto, where I worked as a WWOOFer two years ago: ''Um Träume zu verwirklichen muss man aufwachen!'' eng. To make dreams come true, you must wake up!
What people say is that the world is huge, but if you can't go the direction you want because of the current pandemic situation, economical reasons, authoritarian parent(s) or partner, then the world is not huge anymore. But no worries... To be able to create a world for yourself is always possible and it is such a holy thing for a human being... I do not know any other salvation better than this. It has always been my coping mechanism because life does not always give you good things. So, you should change something in your own mind to cope with challenges. I had once said to my friend Denizhan in a conversation: ''Depression is no longer a thing related to external things for me.''. The most important reason for this is that I can create a world for myself, blessing it with love, beauty, hope, labor, peace, imagination, wishes (more than that), and people who have a place in my heart.❤ Here I would like to quote Mediha Teacher, ''I don't get bored in this quarantine time. I watch the sun, look at my flowers, read a poem. There are so many things to do if you are aware of all these.''. Such a wise perspective she has...
8/9/20
Bustrup Hovedgaard/ Denmark
P.S. ''Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale of all.'' -Hans Christian Andersen
The best part for me was this reasoning about addiction. I find that quite logical, although everything is somehow overly logical in psychoanalysis. I sometimes ask myself if any kind of attachment was possible without any addiction.
ReplyDeleteI thank you for your contribution. Obviously, you speak from a wise and knowledgeable side. Impressed me, but I cannot imagine a healthy attachment in the shadow of addiction... I would like to argue with you about this subject, if you wish you can write to my mail address: gokcesahin96@gmail.com.
Delete''You just build a prison in your mind and your life turns into a prison in time.''
ReplyDeleteIt is very easy to get into a prison of our own imagination even thought we create a perfect, satysfing world in our minds. Everything over there seem to be brighter. That's the way we use to survive.To feel important, loved and fulfilled for short period of time. It is not true living. ''We have to wake up to live our dreams.'' I would apply this sentence also for our minds. We have to wake up and come out of our minds, imagination and thoughts which are keeping us in comfort and blind. They do not allow us to see things clearly and do not allow us to live the Truth. Sooner or later we will end up locked in a prison if we spend to much time in our own bubble. Our mind is our worst enemy. It has power, great power to make things happen or not. Everything starts with a simple thought. It is up to us to put it in action.
Thank you very much for your meaningful article which made me to think and reflect about myself and my own mind.
Mhm, but imagination can also work in a good way... Our dreams make us hopeful about something and keep alive. It is fine, totally fine. What I actually called as a problem was just dreaming and doing nothing. Human mind has incredible sides, we can explore them if we really try.
DeleteWell, nice to hear I could make a difference on you, but please be kind to you when you think about yourself and your own mind! ((: