About the True Love Myth

Here is a song for the beginning...

13.10.20

Spoettrup/Denmark

I've always believed in love and its chance to continue till the end of life. At first, it will probably sound childish, but on the contrary, I believe it is a very mature thing. It requires many personality traits, such as the capability to love and stand by someone, the ability to show tolerance and respect and to be patient. Surely, we also need to be a little bit lucky somehow... Because maybe love is everywhere -you know this cliché- but love is a subtle thing at the same time, so the existence of love is not enough to live it. :)) Sorry...

No doubt, love has so many forms in the world. To be honest, when I started to write this essay, my main purpose was to talk about romantic love only from a very romantic perspective, but right now, I am totally aware of the romantic love shared by two (or more?) people is just one of the innumerable forms of love. You can love your pet or your plants. You can feed them with love. My friend and my English teacher Melek said she had been feeding her violets since 1978, and we are in 2020... Isn't it a very proper example of caring deeply and loving?!! I know another example from another life. Lars is a teacher who works here. I think he is a very wise and deep man. While we were preparing the school's (old) cafe to hand it over, I had a chance to talk with Lars during the coffee break and asked him about his life story. I was pretty sure he had a different kind of story, and as far as he told me, yes, I was right, he has. :) In this writing, I will only write about his and his wife's love story :). Of course, with his permission... He said that they had met in high school. By the way, they are in their 60s... A lifelong dedication sacred with love, respect, common desires, hopes, griefs, adventures lived together and many things experienced by the two of them. IT IS IMPRESSIVE! It is lovely... I can also see this kind of commitment in the relationship between my Danish teacher, Inger, and her husband. I can see the compassion in their glances and behaviours toward each other. They have been together for quite a long time and have a long life story written together. I am pretty glad to be a witness of this bond each week when we go to their peaceful, sweet grandparents' home, extra warmed by the mint tea prepared for us... As you see :) I am talking about "real things", so it is not just a utopic thing. "You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one." On the other hand, little wonder, this world is full of people who have never experienced this and felt any softness in their hearts. So, it is super fortunate to be a person who has reached this...

Surely, there are so many explanations of love. Yes, but here, I have talked about not just heart shaking or just first-sight crashing... No.. no way. I don't want to underestimate it, but love is more precious than this. Knowing someone profoundly with their faults or weaknesses and loving that person so much that you can accept everything about them. Easy to write... but it is extremely hard to do in reality. Putting effort, time, and attention, and showing respect and care.. Trust that person so that you can reveal all your vulnerable points. I think that not being scared of displaying your weaknesses in the presence of your partner should be a basic part of love. Yes, it is too much!! :) As I said, that's why it's precious. Love is a kind of miracle created by a human being, so it is artificial, but actually, it is real. That's the summary of my love manifesto. Do you have a strong heart to carry these hard feelings and continue till death do you part?

What about me? I cannot show my status as a perfect example of the romantic love myth, but that I have never experienced "true love" doesn't mean that there is no such thing in the universe because love is what we believe in. ❤ I hope everybody will be loved and caressed with the kindness in their loved one's eyes.

"Mehmet Bey düşünüyordu. Acaba Ahmet Bey ne yapmak istiyordu? Ahmet Bey hiçbir şey yapmak istemiyordu. Sadece seviyordu. Yaşamak istiyordu. Sevilememiş insanın bütün hırsıyla sevilmek için, en sevilemeyeceği yerden, çabalayıp duruyordu. Istırap çekiyordu. Hiçbir şey olmayacağını hissetmemesine imkan yoktu. İşte yaşamak istiyordu. Bırakalım insanları istediklerini yapsınlar. Herkes kendi hikayesini yazacaktır." -Sait Faik Abasıyanık/Havada Bulut 

Mr. Mehmet was thinking. He was wondering what Mr. Ahmet would like to do? Mr. Ahmet was not willing to do anything. He was just in love. He was willing to live. With all the passion of someone who had not experienced love, he was struggling to be loved from the point where he would not be loved. He was suffering. It was impossible that he would not feel that nothing would happen. He was only wishing to live! Let people do whatever they want. Everyone will write their own story. 

Here is a song for the end from a wild and beautiful woman knowing what the meaning of love is.

P.S. Many thanks to Melek Teacher for the edit.